8 Ways to Deal with Depression. Times have become very difficult to live in. And every one of us is gripped through some form of hardship. To feel that others who portray themselves as happy aren’t going through something troubling in their lives would be an underestimation because some of us our just good at hiding our pain. Yes, it is true, that what I may be going through at the moment in life may not be as big a deal as compared to what you may be suffering but that does not in any way eliminate the fact that there would be no pain or hurt on the lesser end.
8 Ways to Deal with Depression
Because this is such a private experience that to able to judge someone on their threshold to deal with pain becomes invalid and so we need to understand that depression can hit anyone at any stage in life. Just because someone went through a similar situation with much greater strength does not mean that everyone will be able to maintain the same poise. Here are a few things to remember when we deal with someone that may be suffering from depression.
According to Serani, the best thing you can do for someone with depression is to be there. “When I was struggling with my own depression, the most healing moments came when someone I loved simply sat with me while I cried, or wordlessly held my hand, or spoke warmly to me with statements like ‘You’re so important to me.’ ‘Tell me what I can do to help you.’ ‘We’re going to find a way to help you to feel better.’”
Try a Small Gesture to Deal with Depression of Others
If you’re uncomfortable with emotional expression, you can show support in other ways, said Serani, who’s also author of the excellent book Living with Depression. She suggested everything from sending a card or a text to cooking a meal to leaving a voicemail. “These gestures provide a loving connection [and] they’re also a beacon of light that helps guide your loved one when the darkness lifts.”
Let Others Help to Deal with Depression
Don’t judge or criticize
What you say can have a powerful impact on your loved one. According to Serani, avoid saying statements such as: “You just need to see things as half full, not half empty” or “I think this is really all just in your head. If you got up out of bed and moved around. You’d see things better.” These words imply “that your loved one has a choice in how they feel and has chosen, by free will, to be depressed,” Serani said. They’re not only insensitive but can isolate your loved one even more, she added.
Avoid the tough-love approach
Many individuals think that being tough on their loved one will undo their depression or inspire positive behavioral changes, Serani said. For instance, some people might intentionally be impatient with their loved one, push their boundaries, use silence, be callous or even give an ultimatum (e.g., “You better snap out of it or I’m going to leave”), Serani said. But consider that this is as useless, hurtful and harmful as ignoring, pushing away or not helping someone who has cancer.
Don’t minimize their Pain
Statements such as “You’re just too thin-skinned” or “Why do you let every little thing bother you?” shame a person with depression, Serani said. It invalidates what they’re experiencing and completely glosses over the fact that they’re struggling with a difficult disorder – not some weakness or personality flaw.
Avoid offering advice
It probably seems natural to share advice with your loved one. Whenever someone we care about is having a tough time, we yearn to fix their heartache. But Serani cautioned that “While it may be true that the depressed person needs guidance. Saying that will make them feel insulted or even more inadequate and detach further.” What helps instead, Serani said, is to ask, “What can we do to help you feel better?” This gives your love one the opportunity to ask for help. “When a person asks for help they are more inclined to be guided and take direction without feeling insulted,” she said.
Avoid making comparisons
Unless you’ve experienced a depressive episode yourself, saying that you know how a person with depression feels is not helpful, Serani said. While your intention is probably to help your loved one feel less alone in their despair, this can cut short your conversation and minimize their experience.
Serani believes that patience is a pivotal part of supporting your loved one. “When you’re patient with your loved one. You’re letting them know that it doesn’t matter how long this is going to take, or how involved the treatments are going to be, or the difficulties that accompany the passage from symptom onset to recovery, because you will be there,” she said. And this patience has a powerful result. “With such patience, comes hope,” she said. And when you have depression, hope can be hard to come by.
To Deal with Depression is not that easy. We need to learn to become compassionate and understanding towards each other in order to let people open up about issues and things that they have piled up inside them to help each other learn to be happy again.
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